Was it inevitable Brad would sell out?

Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad. *shaking head*

What the hell is Brad Pitt (previously one of the coolest men on the planet) doing mumbling gibberish in B&W for ladies smelleries Chanel?

How much money can Brad need that he has to resort to this? His movies give him regular pay packets in the $1m+ range. More money than most people will even hear of let alone see in their lifetime.

We expect better Brad. And you should know better than to sell your soul to the man to push smelly nonsense on the masses.

I suspect witchcraft is involved. Somebody at Chanel has a little man doll with a tuft of Brad’s whiskery beard stapled to it and they now control his every move.

Be strong Brad, break free, become a man again.

The Death of UK Advertising

We live in dangerous times. All around us the financial apocalypse rages. Citizens riot on the streets in Africa, Europe, and the UK for jobs, fairer wages, and better living standards for all. Countries and people that have lived on the ‘never never’ for as long as they can remember are under pressure from the … Read more

Beauty meets Brains … and explodes?!

A fantastic entry by BBH and Huawei for the worst advert of all time. This is toss on a grandiose scale. On opposite sides of a desert, a white horse faces down an old bloke. Think Shadowfax and Gandalf. Horse and man then decide to run into each other. The resulting explosion (reminiscent of those … Read more

Squidgy, Squidgy Baby

Haribo Starmix – dear god the horror.

This. Pile. Of. Dung. Is. Just. A. Load. Of. Random. Words. Shouted. Out. By. Wooden. Fools. In. Front. Of. A. Fake Service. Station.

I feel ill. Join me in banning the eating of Haribo products in protest at their laughing in the face of advertising.

Kate’s ample assets boost SoBe profile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6Shu7xY4QU

An epic celebrity led advert for SoBe.

Never heard of them? Me neither. But after watching the 1 minute and 30 seconds of Miss Kate Upton writhing and lolling around with a bottle of the stuff, you’ll be a convert. In fact, I bet you’re itching to start drinking it until your brain bursts. All in the hope you might meet young Kate, impress her with your witty repartee and special dance moves, before whisking her away for a bit of bumping ugly.

The power of celebrity. Never doubt it.

Well done marketing chaps at Sobe. Your website was quite fun too.

It’s so effing simple

2356% APR – It’s so effing simple.

Quite apart from the shameful wrongness of this type of finance, how did anyone at QuickQuid or their ‘advertising’ agency allow the F word in this ad?

When, where, what?!I hear you say. Head straight to here to listen.

You what…? She says quick and simple, not the f word Dave. Oh…well to my ears when shown on the telly this morning it sounded like ‘so effing simple’.

Remember ladies, if you need money in a hurry you should always choose tricking on the streets over paying TWO THOUSAND PERCENT INTEREST!!!

Work harder, lay off the fags and booze, stop buying scratchcards, lcd tvs, and pies and you might not have to ever visit the scumbags at Quick Quid, Wonga, Ocean Finance, etc.

Yours quite angrily, Dave

Nice old biddy likes her gin not her tea.

Something we all suspect of our grandma’s is going on here. Instead of promoting the traditional drink of the elderly, our loveable old gran here is forthright and honest about her favourite tipple – gin.

Well done marketing person at Aldi. Nice dry humour (geddit? dry like the gin – ha). Although not sure if I want to see a whole series of these sorts of things, ‘cos it’s only got one way to go… An ever escalating series of dramas as people favour something a little more risque than the perceived norm. Witness, middle-aged Bob of Hatfield passing up a new novel for the chance to watch porn on his new tablet device. Or Sarah of Newcastle not buying new nappies for her baby so that she can spend it on scratch-cards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T_LiUAVl4g

Not one for bigging up this sort of lifestyle ad but this one was on during the UEFA Cup final yesterday and had me captivated.

I absolutely love the build up to the best tricks, followed by the huge white graphic ‘YES’ when it comes off. Exactly what I said too at the time. Talk about audience participation. The music’s a little annoying but I guess the kids are into that stuff!

Hats off to the director, the groovy cast, some sunshiney weather and whoever the marketing person is for allowing an overlong spot to be shown on telly instead of a 15 sec product shot.

Nice one.

Dave

Lucozade Advert 2011 – Sport Lite – Feat. ‘Louder’ by DJ Fresh (by lucozade)

Fat People Have Families too, says KFC

The scene is set. It’s a sunshiney avo in urban Britain. We should go outside say the people. Let’s gather seating say the people. Anything that can be sat on is removed from its place and dragged over hedges, down stair wells, and out windows. Chuck us a cushion say the people. I am too fat to stand up says another. There’s KFC outside says one clever chap. A stampede erupts.

Where on earth are the KFC marketing people getting their information from? How many social gatherings have you been to that involved the hosts going, ‘Bugger the cooking bit. I’ll just get a couple of hundred pounds worth of KFC in.’ And if that did happen, how many of you would hang around sitting in the sunshine on top of your sofa awash with KFC grease and fat from the badly kept battery chicken farms of Britain that supply KFC.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually eats KFC, let alone someone that attends mass KFC eating events. But that’s just me and I’m pretty sure I’m not in the target market of KFC, being a human that enjoys outdoor activity and all. Seriously, if you are in that market bracket, get on YourEllipticals, get out of there!

This is a massive fail. I don’t care how prettily the damn thing is shot and how nice the music is, the message is so far off it makes me cry.

Reality check people.

Oozing with fat,

Dave

Bloke Kicks Over Bowl of Glitter in Living Room … wins ad of year.

Sussex Safe Roads campaign was named 2010 ‘Ad of the Year’ on Youtube. Embrace life is wishy washy, lovey dovey nonsense, filmed in slo-mo with lots of plinky-plonky piano going on and a vacuous family in it. You’ll probably love it but that’s why you’re reading this – so you can be educated properly.

‘Embrace Life’ tries to get us to wear seatbelts. Who doesn’t put their seatbelt on these days? That’s right, idiots.

And those idiots have been commenting in their tonnes on this video. You have to read some of the comments on youtube to believe them.

“I put my seatbelt on today because of this video… couldn’t get it out of my head.”, Mythreenme – YouTube comment

Why? What on earth made you do this today and not every other day…?

This ad is only going to keep more morons alive and prevent natural selection…and therefore I hate it. You should too.

Get help.

Dave